Are your affairs in order?

I've been a little swamped of late with lots of things happening on all fronts, home, work and family!

As touched on in my last post, I had to get more involved with my mother's affairs because she had a fall, and we were told she could no longer live in her own home. This had a significant impact on everyone. There was the obvious shock to Mum. She had become quite comfortable in her home with a friend there as a live in carer but up to this point it hard worked reasonably well. I had the odd concern from time to time, but overall Mum's needs were appearing to be met.

When it was realised however that Mum couldn't return home, everything became very complicated, and it was made more so that Mum was starting to shut down from the shock of it all, and was not always consistent in her state of mind from day to day. She is also went through denial at first, essentially not accepting that she couldn't go home, and that this was all temporary. I won't go into all the details of what happened next, because my Mum is a very private person, but let's just say that my right as her only next of kin to help determine what happens next was challenged. Even though I have enduring power of attorney over Mum's financial affairs, the laws here are such that Mum had to make the decision, and it was at times doubtful whether she could actually make it, as she was refusing to accept that she could not return home. Other parties became involved who have been associated with Mum and my family in the past, and the whole situation became very complicated, and at times rather nasty as they tried to sway Mum's decision as to where should would live. Even aspects of Mum's estate were coming into the discussion, even though she was well and truly still with us in the land of the living.

After a painful two weeks or so, we managed to get a decision from Mum to let us care for her in our family home for a while, and then when she is ready, she can go into another form of care. I must stress though, only when she is ready.

So what is the point of this post?

A time will come for all of us where we are potentially forced to change our life situation, and you may not have a say in it. You could become disabled in a motor vehicle accident, you could be struck down with a serious illness or worse. No matter what age you are, you will have affairs, assets and liabilities that will need to be managed. Do you have your affairs in order?

Depending on your age, you may need to consider different things. If you are out of school and earning, the very minimum you will need is a will. As you get older however, it is also prudent to have a form of power of attorney in place with someone you trust and also ensure that those you have allocated this responsibility are well aware of your wishes, preferably in a documented form. Then, when the unexpected does happen, not only will your affairs be cared for, you will also be making it much easier and less stressful for those who need to become involved.

My Mum's affairs were partly catered for, but there were avenues for others to exploit and generally make it more difficult for everyone. It is also amazing how nasty something can become when there is money potentially involved.

You owe it to yourself, your friends and family. Be prepared, and have your arrangements in order. Also, as your situation changes, keep your affairs up to date with regular reviews.

Top of my projects list now is to sort my own arrangements out after having been through what was essentially hell for the last few weeks. I wouldn't wish what I have been through on anyone.

Later.