This year has been moving along very quickly, after all it is nearly the end of March, so the year is effectively 25 % gone already.
For once though, I am grateful, because quite honestly, the first three months of this year have probably been the worst period of my life in recent memory. This might seem extreme, but alas it is true.
From my previous posts, you would have already been aware of my mother's failing health, the fact that I returned to work to find myself completely swamped, plus our ongoing house extensions/renovations have been happening in the background. This was all more than enough to stretch me about as far as I can handle without it starting to catch up with me.
Well, it then all took a turn for the worst. After Mum came down to live with us for a while, her health deterioated, and she passed away earlier this month. It was a sad time for me, because it happened so soon after the difficult period she had to go through in January, being effectively forced to move out of her own home as she needed a higher level of care. My father died when I was seven, so it also hit home that I am the last one left from my childhood family unit.
Anyone who knows me though, also knows that I am more of a "glass half full" type of guy, and there has been a silver lining from these recent events. Firstly, the day my mother's death progressed about as perfectly as such an event can. I arrived at the hospital the morning after she was admitted, and was told by her doctor that she only had a few hours left. He gave me some time to process this, and then said that because Mum was suprisingly alert and also because she seemed like a "brave soul" (his words), that we should tell her that she was going to die, so we did.
Mum took this remarkably well once she clearly understood what was going to happen, and we then spent the next four hours together, talking about all sorts of things. She kept interjecting to apologise for leaving a bit of a mess behind, but I told her not to worry about it. Later, when she had recevied some pain relief, she became sleepy, and we said our goodbyes. Right at the end, she said "goodbye son", and I replied "goodbye Mum" and she went to sleep. About 4 hours after that, she simply stopped breathing, and that was it.
The fact that we could say our goodbyes, and to see her drift off to sleep, completely unafraid that she was not going to wake up again was a real gift to me and others who were present. It was the type of scene where if I had seen it in a movie, I would have scoffed that "it never happens like that", but it did.
It was also a real relief to know that Mum did not have to end up going into a nursing home, or witness her own loss of mental capabilities, as these were two very confronting issues for her, and I think she would have had a lot of trouble dealing with.
So yes, it has been a rotten start to the year, but somehow, I now think it is going to get a lot better. We still have a few things to sort out with Mum's affairs, we have a house extension to finish off and I now need to get back on top of my work, but I have no doubt it will be a lot easier now.
I am sorry for the space between posts, but I am sure you can understand.
Later.
